These Images Haunting Me
by Komu
Summary: When he meets Sam, things start falling apart.  Rating for language, violence, rape, attempted suicide. Brief Sam/Kurt, Finn/Kurt
1. Prologue

After the whole incident with his dad and Finn, he simply tried to do his best to just fit in with them; as a family. For a while, it seemed to work. Everything seemed to work. The bullying lessened due to Sue Sylvester's threats of bodily harm to anyone who touched any of her Cheerios, and Glee Club functioned without too much drama.

Then, he met Sam.

Sam; perfectly charming to everyone, not mindful of the homophobic slurs sent his way when he would hold Kurt's hand. Tall, handsome, and with the perfect Colgate smile. He got along with Carole, Burt, Finn... he seemed the perfect boyfriend.

And no one noticed how he'd grip Kurt's hand too tightly, tug him along too fiercely. No one noticed that Kurt's smile no longer reached his eyes.

To be fair, Sam had been fantastic in the beginning. But then as a week of dating became a month, and then two months, things gradually started to change. Whenever they were alone, Sam would taunt and sneer. Slaps, shoves and rough grips soon followed. And Kurt had no one to turn to.

After the first time Sam had yelled at him, Kurt had called Mercedes for advice. She had just huffed and told him he was overreacting, that he should talk to his boyfriend. He was met with a similar response from Quinn.

That was the first and last time he tried to talk to someone about it. 

-ooo- 

"Grow a pair! You're pathetic. Even your broken little family thinks so. They don't _care_."

Kurt had nothing to say in response. It wasn't the first time Sam had said something like that. Answering usually just earned him a bruise. He just kept his gaze firmly averted.

"Look at me when I'm talking to you!" A shove. "You should be happy I bother with you. No one else even wants you."

When he didn't answer, things went quiet for a moment. Until another shove sent him sprawling.

"Ungrateful bitch."

That wasn't the first time. And it wasn't the first time he cried himself to sleep.

But there was nothing he could do. Sam was right. Right about everything.

It had been painstakingly easy to see once his eyes had been opened. And now he couldn't close them again.

* * *

_Short, I know. The official chapters will be longer. R&R._


	2. Chapter One: Rubber Sheets

"Kurt sweetie, are you okay? You've barley touched your food."

Kurt looked up and found Carole looking at him worriedly. What was more, his dad was frowning at him.

"I'm... not really hungry tonight. Big lunch." He tried, but judging by his dad's deepening frown, it was the wrong thing to say.

"Kurt." His dad leaned forward and lowered his voice. "Carole worked hard on this meal. Eat some."

And he complied. He hated seeing those disappointed looks directed towards him, and Carole's small smile made it almost bearable. His diet would just have to suffer a blow.

Later, just one thought stayed in his head as he fell asleep.

Thank god for spring break. Just a few days to go.

It was a major plus that his birthday occurred on the first day of freedom. And the day after his birthday, the Hummel-Hudson clan would be going up to the old Hummel cabin for some proper family bonding.

Maybe that would heal the rift Kurt saw between him and the other three.

And he wouldn't have to see Sam for a whole week; no constant reminders of how failed he was.

Yet things rarely seemed to work as he wanted them to.

-ooo-

He should have noticed that something was off in his room. He should have noticed Sam's dangerous leer as he pushed Kurt down against the mattress.

When Sam started tearing at his clothes, pressing down dangerously hard on his windpipe, something clicked in his head. This was wrong. This wasn't how things were supposed to go.

"N-No!" He tried, but it barely came out as a whine. Sam was looming over him.

"11.58 PM. Two minutes until your birthday." Then with a lower, mocking voice, "This is what you want, isn't it?"

And then pain. Sharp, unbearable pain. Sam wasn't pressing against his throat any more, he was keeping Kurt's hands pinned down instead. He should scream. Call for help.

But he couldn't make a sound. The pain was overwhelming. The pain and the sense of panic, distress and disgust. This wasn't how his first time was supposed to be.

"Happy Birthday, fag."

The last thing he saw before he passed out was Sam's perfectly awful Colgate smile.

-ooo-

Waking up was nerve-racking. Sam wasn't there any more and for a wonderful moment, Kurt hoped everything had been a bad dream. Then the pain came, soon followed by the tears and shame.

There was a weird sense of detachment as he finally managed to hoist himself to the bathroom and collapse in the shower. He wasn't bleeding profusely, but the sight of the red liquid was enough to turn his stomach inside-out.

Through the despair, Kurt was surprisingly happy that Finn wasn't sharing his basement. No one could see him like this. He had to get everything together, pull up the façade again.

His _dad_ would be down in a few hours to wake him up with German pancakes, as was their birthday tradition. With that in mind, Kurt managed to get himself out of the shower, disinfect and treat the injuries, and pull on a pair of pyjamas that covered the bruiser. Sam never touched his face or arms. Not hard enough to leave bruises.

His bed was a mess. The sight of blood and semen was enough to make him want to heave again. He became aware of a rib on his left side that ached terribly. He should probably bandage that, in case it was broken.

Kurt was in the middle of tugging of the bed linen and shoving them under the bed - he would burn them as soon as he got a chance - when he noticed something that made him want to laugh hysterically.

_Rubber sheets _covering his mattress. Sam had planned this whole thing.

And while he was thankful he wouldn't have to burn his mattress, it only made the whole thing more surreal and frightening.

He somehow managed to throw on some new bed linen before he collapsed, curling up and letting the tears fall.


	3. Chapter Two: German pancakes

He desperately needed an aspirin. That was Kurt's first thought upon sitting up. More than that, the alarm clock said 9.26 AM. His dad had never been later than 9.14. So why wasn't he down in Kurt's basement?

Venturing up the stairs took thrice as long as it usually did, and each step sent a surge of pain. There was a definite sense of relief when he reached the door leading to the rest of the house.

The feeling quickly turned into confusion when he couldn't smell pancakes. The house seemed... empty.

Except for Carole. She turned to smile at him, but her happy expression faltered as soon as she saw him. He must look awful.

"Goodness sweetie, you don't look to good. Are you sure you should be up and about?"

"W-where's dad?" His voice was foreign to him. It was rough from trying to breathe, and sore from crying. Hopefully, Carole would mistake it for a simple cold.

"He and Finn went to a race, you just missed them. Come out to the kitchen, there's some omelette, if you want it."

"A r-race?" Confusion racked through his brain. Today was the right date. It was Monday. And his dad had forgotten. It was all he could do to keep from collapsing right then and there.

And he wasn't really in the mood for food.

He was startled out of his daze by Carole clearing her throat worriedly.

"Oh. Uhm, no thank you. I don't feel too good. I think I'm coming down with something. I'll just... go back to bed."

He nearly tripped over himself in his hurry to shut the door to escape Carole's worried questions, and he was grateful when she didn't come down.

He slept away the day instead of spending it laughing with his father.

-ooo-

The next morning, he woke to someone gently shaking him.

"Kurt. I am so sorry I forgot. I came home as soon as I realised but you were asleep and - I'm sorry." His dad looked livid. And the guilt etched into his face was more than Kurt could stand.

"I-It's fine dad. I slept all day. I-It wouldn't have mattered even if you had remembered." Of course it mattered. Yesterday was when Kurt had needed him the most. But telling his dad that would only worsen that guilty expression, and Kurt couldn't stand that. Just because he was hurting didn't mean he had to burden anyone with it.

"You sure? I made pancakes today instead."

"Sure. And thanks." The small, awkward smile was reward enough. And while it was good to eat something again, the pancakes somehow didn't taste as good as they usually did.

"We need to leave in half an hour. You okay with that kiddo?"

At first, Kurt couldn't understand what he was on about. Until it hit him. Cabin. There was no way he could go; he could barely stand up, they would all notice. And he would need to share a room with Finn there, so Finn would notice even more. His bruises.

"N-no dad, I really don't feel too good. I'd rather stay home. It's just a week, I'll be fine by myself." After all, he didn't have to tell Sam he stayed behind. Or anyone else, for that matter.

His dad didn't seem to pleased with the idea. "I'm not sure Kurt. We could postpone the trip, stay at home-"

"No!" lowering his voice to a normal level, he fought back the panic. Kurt was not going to be the reason for a ruined family vacation. "I mean, it's fine. You three go, have fun. I don't want you to stay because of me. It's just a cold. I'll handle it."

"If you're sure..."

Yes. "I'm sure dad. Have a nice vacation."

"All right. Get better, son. We'll call you when we get there, okay?"

Parting was less painful thank Kurt had thought it would be. Carole fussed for a while, Finn awkwardly patted his shoulder, and he cherished the short hug his dad offered. This was the easiest way to handle the situation, he knew that.

So why did he feel so empty?

* * *

_Gosh, thank you all for the reviews! And for those worrying about Kurt; don't worry. Things'll perk up for him._

_Edit: I got a message saying that there are similar stories by either rofro05 or totalgleekgirl, concerning the porridge and forgetting the birthday. I didn't know that, so sorry. I've edited out the porridge, but I'm not taking away the birthday part. The reason it's there is because I've had that experience myself. _


	4. Chapter Three: Decision

The week passed in a daze, he ate when he needed to and he spent most of the days in bed. He took the car and drove to Columbus on Friday afternoon when the physical pain was as good as gone. He didn't dare go to the clinic in Lima. Columbus was a safer bet, no one knew him there.

He almost cried in relief when he got the test results; Sam hadn't infected him with anything. He was clean.

Throughout the week there were worried phone calls from his dad, scornful text messages from Sam, and "hope you have more fun than I have!" messages from Mercedes.

On Sunday his "family" returned, happily chattering about their trip while he nodded and gave his input when it was called for. It was easy to keep the facade up. No one had to see how he felt. Not now; they might try to keep him from going through with it.

During the week alone; he had gotten plenty of time to think. And Kurt had realised; He had nothing to live for. Not really.

His dad was obviously happy with Carole and Finn. Finn was the son he always wanted, it didn't make a difference that Burt had said Kurt came before everything else. That was just guilt.

And no one should have to feel guilty because of him.

His friends had other friends. The school wouldn't miss him. Glee Club could function without him. He was a bother to the economy now that they were more than two living in the Hummel household, and Sam certainly didn't need him.

Everything would be so much easier for everyone if he just ended it all.

Everything had to be planned out. After careful consideration, he decided that overdosing seemed to be the most efficient way. If he woke up again that would be the most painful, but he didn't want to mar his skin. He had enough bruises at it was. Cutting was out of the question.

He sat down and wrote letters to his dad, Carole, Finn, Sam, Mercedes, and one for the rest of Glee Club. Telling them he was sorry for doing this, but that there simply was no other solution. It was good to get it all off his chest. Writing the testimonial wasn't too hard either. All those technical things that had to be cleared up. Like making sure his files at the hospital said he refused to be on life support; just in case something went wrong.

Getting the painkillers wasn't exactly difficult either. On Monday when school started again, he skipped first period and waited until the school nurse went to go get coffee. Her medical cabinet was foolishly unlocked, and while Kurt felt bad about stealing, it wasn't like he could go up to her an ask her for a bottle of her strongest painkillers.

He managed to successfully take a bottle, and hide it in his messenger bag. Everything was going exactly as planned.

He was confident it would go smoothly. Burt was picking Carole up from work early to go out for a private dinner, and Finn would be back late due to practice. He would have plenty of time to do it.

Kurt got through second period without any setbacks, and came home to a quiet house early afternoon.

He had decided on doing it by his vanity. That was _his_ place. He spent a lot of time there every day, so it was only natural he'd end it there. The bathroom seemed too cliché. He wasn't even nervous as he broke the seal on the bottle and downed a bunch in one gulp of water. Another soon followed. And another. As the bottle emptied, senses started to dull. His vision started to blur, and a muffled roar penetrated his ears. Like water rushing down a mountain. Kurt was dimly aware of dropping the bottle, barely hearing it fall too the floor before the world started to spin.

An odd calmness overtook him and then he was falling as darkness overtook him.

* * *

_Cliffhanger! Sorry about that. Oh, and; ODing on painkillers or sleeping pills is extremely dangerous, and can ruin internal organs and lead to coma and even death. Talk to your doctor if you think you have taken one too many. _


	5. Chapter Four: Oxycodone

He didn't really feel up to football practice. He and Rachel had fought the other day, and they had broken up for real this time. Maybe it was better like this. She could be really annoying. And demanding.

His life was confusing enough as it was right now. Like, he was having these weird dreams about Kurt that he was pretty sure he shouldn't be having.

He needed someone to talk to. His first thought went to Quinn, but she wouldn't help him. Mercedes kind of scared him. Puck would laugh at him. Artie would probably embarrass him. Kurt should be at home, though. He could always count on him when he needed to talk. Or rant, as Kurt liked to call it. He'd just leave out the part about the dreams. That would be kind of strange to talk to him about.

Come to think of it, Kurt had seemed a bit strange for a while now. Maybe he needed to talk to someone too.

The house was weirdly quiet as Finn entered, but Kurt's basement door was open. That probably meant he was home. And it hopefully meant that Sam wasn't down there with him.

He heard something light hitting the floor when he was halfway down the stairs, and he froze for a second. Apart from that sound, it was completely quiet. He couldn't hear any music, or Kurt humming like he usually did. Just... quiet.

"Kurt?"

No answer. Finn guessed Kurt was by his mirror table, probably messing around with all those creams he had. He shouldn't be _too _mad at Finn for intruding.

And then a dull thump came. Like a body hitting the floor. But there was no cry of pain following it. That worried him.

Finn almost fell down the reminding stairs in hurry, and what he saw almost gave him a heart attack. Kurt lay motionless on the floor, pale as a ghost.

"Kurt!" He exclaimed, dropping beside him and almost crushing a plastic bottle in the process. Something was seriously wrong. Kurt's chest was barely moving, and when Finn lifted his torso, his head just lolled to the side.

"Kurt! Dude, wake up!" Kurt hated it when Finn called him dude. So maybe he'd react to that.

But he wasn't responding. With that in mind, Finn fumbled for his phone and dialed 911.

"_911, what's the emergency?_"

"M-My uh, almost-stepbrother. He's unconscious and I can't wake him up!"

"_Where are you?_"

Finn quickly rambled the address, stated that he was in the basement. Got told to bring Kurt upstairs and outside, since he wasn't bleeding and didn't seem to be physically injured. That would save time. The ambulance would be there in 5 minutes.

"_Is there something there that can help us figure out what happened to him?_"

Finn looked around. The empty bottle caught his eye. Oxycodone.

"Uh, there's an empty pill bottle here. Oxycod...one?"

The lady was quiet for a while. When she spoke again, her voice had a strange note in it. "_Oxycodone as in painkillers?_ _Empty? You don't see a seal somewhere, do you?_"

He looked around again and confirmed that yes, there was a seal there. A small pile of neat letters caught his eye. "There's a bunch of letters too." Something about that started of the warning bells in his head.

"_Take him upstairs now, and bring the letters and bottle with you. I'm alerting the ambulance to hurry._" With that the lady hung up, and Finn was even more worried than before. He had a nagging suspicion that this wasn't at all good.

Finn almost staggered when he lifted Kurt after shoving the letters and bottle into a pocket. Kurt was so_ light._ Rushing him upstairs and out through the front door was easy, and he reached the street at the same time as the ambulance pulled up outside the house.

Kurt was promptly taken from his arms and put on a bed, the two EMT's firing questions and checking him. Some kind of electrical reader was attached to his finger, and Finn had seen enough medical series to know that something was wrong with the numbers showing up on the small screen. The EMT's seemed to think so too, because suddenly he was told to call their parents and tell them to come to the ER entrance.

Calling his mum was nerve-racking. She and Burt were at a restaurant close to the hospital, and they would be there in a minute. Finn hung up before explaining what had happened. He didn't even know himself yet. An EMT had taken the bottle and gone off about suicide, pushing a shot of something into Kurt's arm.

Suicide. That had to be a mistake. Kurt couldn't have tried to off himself, right?

The other EMT was incubating. Finn knew that word from House. Apparently Kurt wasn't breathing on his own.

Then everything came to a halt, doors lurching open and EMT's telling him to get out while they unloaded Kurt; who was hauled into the hospital by a group of nurses. He could see Burt and his mom.

Their expressions when they saw Kurt on the bed was enough to make Finn fight for his breath.

"Kurt!" Burt sounded terrified. Even more terrified than Finn felt.

And then the screen showing Kurt's heartbeat gave a long, horrible beep, and he felt like all the air in the world was gone.

"We need a crash cart in here!" One nurse called as Kurt was wheeled into a room, and another nurse stopped them from following.

"I'm sorry, you have to stay out here."

They didn't get a chance to tell her that they were family, that they had to be by Kurt's side. They were stuck watching through a window as paddles met skin and Kurt's small body jerked.

Once.

Twice.

The curtains were drawn, and now Finn really though that the air might be gone.

* * *

_ R&R~ _


	6. Chapter Five: Letters

The night was spent sitting in the waiting room, sometimes getting up to pace for a while and then slumping down into a chair. Both Finn and Burt did it. His mom fiddled with an empty cup of water instead.

"I don't understand." Burt mumbled. The words had seemed to grow into some kind of mantra; He would repeat them every hour or so. Finn just concentrated on breathing. It wouldn't do them any good if he passed out. Then finally, a doctor emerged from the room.

"Burt Hummel?"

"Yeah. How is he?" Burt couldn't get up from his chair fast enough. Finn had been pacing, and practically jumped over to his side.

"Your son overdosed on Oxycodone. It's an opioid analgesic medication. It's... a very strong painkiller. He went into respiratory arrest in the ambulance, and into cardiac arrest here. His condition is for now stable, and we have pumped his stomach."

The doctor turned to Finn. "It was very fortunate that you found him so quickly. His liver and kidneys only suffered minor damage; as of now we doubt that he will need a transplant."

Carole was there beside them now. "So he's going to be okay?"

The doctor hesitated. Finn didn't like that. "He... took a whole bottle. That much is in most cases fatal, but as I said, he was lucky to be found early. However, it's a fast working medicine. Some has already entered his blood, and we have him on dialysis to filter it out."

"But is he going to be _okay_?" This time, it was Burt. He looked as frightened as Finn felt.

"We hope so, but the next 24 hours are critical. He's in a coma right now, and we're not a 100% he's going to wake up again. We've ignored the paragraph in his medical records which states that he doesn't consent to life-support, since his mental health can be questioned, rendering his judgement impaired. We're doing everything we can to make sure he pulls through."

All three of them collapsed in chairs, the doctor looking at them apologetically.

"I know this must be a lot to take in at the moment, but I need to ask some questions. We noticed a large amount of bruises covering his torso, back and legs. One of his ribs are fractured too. Did you know of this?"

Finn felt like he had been punched in the gut. Kurt wasn't being bullied any more. Sylvester had seen to that. "No." Burt looked shocked, and his mom was choking back tears. "He was bullied before, but not any more. Couldn't it be from cheerleader practice? I think that gets pretty rough."

"Sadly, I doubt that's the case here. The injuries speak for themselves; someone did this to him. We have to involve the police after we've done a complete physical examination. Do you know of anyone who spends a lot of time with him? I would question the three of you, but I can clearly see this is news to you all."

"He... he has a boyfriend." Finn choked out. But Sam had always seemed like a cool guy, maybe a bit possessive. Yet decent. "They spend a lot of time together."

"Hopefully the physical comes out with some hints, perhaps even DNA. For now, you can go sit with him."

It was a cautious rush into the room as soon as the doctor left them. Kurt looked so _tiny_ in the bed, pale against the sheets. There were tubes and small hoses connected to him, the heart monitor beeping slowly. The hospital gown revealed some of the bruises the doctor had spoken of. It barely looked like Kurt.

But it was Kurt. There was no way around that.

"Oh god, son." Burt collapsed on the chair closest to the bed, and Finn pulled up two other so he and his mom could join him. Something crinkled as he sat down.

The letters. They crinkled softly again as he pulled them out of his pocket, staring down at them without blinking.

"Finn?" His mom had noticed them too. Burt seemed to have eyes only for his son.

"I found these beside Kurt. I-I kinda forgot about them." There was one for him, his mom, Burt, Mercedes, Sam and glee club. And a testimonial. Kurt had known what he was doing.

He gave Burt and his mom the ones that were labelled with their names, and took hold of the one saying _Finn Hudson_ in small, neat letters. His hand lingered on the one for Sam. He probably shouldn't read it, but what if Sam had been the one to hurt Kurt? Maybe the letter could give some clue. He would start with his own, first.

From his left, Burt gave a choked sob. On his right his mom sat staring blankly at the piece of paper in her hands.

A simple white paper with perfect rows of small, slightly curved letters. Finn knew it well, he had copied from Kurt's homework and borrowed his notes on so many occasions.

But right now, it wasn't helpful. It almost felt mocking.

_Dear Finn._

_I'm sorry for springing this on you. You probably have enough pressure with Rachel and school. However, these are my last words to you. And I don't want to have any regrets. I'm sorry for acting so insane when you moved in. I admit; I had ulterior motives and I was out of line._

_My feelings for you should have died, especially after I started my relationship with Sam. I liked him, but I never cared for him like I cared for you. But I was fine just being your friend, your brother. That was enough if it meant seeing you smile._

_I still loved you._

_Maybe, in another world, it could have been us. But not in this life. I have, had - past tense now - Sam. I need to come clean about him too. He isn't who you think he is. He's not the perfect and sweet boyfriend he seems to be. I know I deserved a lot of the things he called me, and I think on some level I deserved some of the physical abuse. I never really did learn to fit in._

_Yet many times he was out of line. Some I can't even bear to think about. It's in the past now, I'm free. I'll be with my mother - I hope. If he's right I won't end up there, but I think I should be allowed some hope._

_Suicide is pathetic, I know. But I just can't live like this any more. I know my dad will find a family in you and Carole, you're still the ideal son. This is better for everyone._

_I just wanted to tell you that you're a wonderful person, and that I'm sure you'll have a bright future. (Possibly with freakishly tall kids. I'm sorry, it had to be said.) I've left you my bank accounts, amongst other things, in the testimonial._

_Sincerely,_

_Kurt._

Finn felt weak. He was such an idiot. Kurt _had_ to wake up. And then Finn had to set everything right. He should have talked to Kurt about his dreams, thoughts and feeling. He really did think they might work great as a couple, and he did like him, but he had been scared.

Scared of what people would do, what they would say. Finn was a people-pleaser, that was what Rachel kept calling him.

He never once tried to please Kurt though.

"Sam did this." Finn breathed, and Burt looked at him.

"What?"

"The bruises. It was Sam." Then he was tearing at the envelope containing Sam's letter, and his vision blurred with rage. He realised that his hands were shaking. Burt wordlessly snatched the paper from him, his expression mirroring Finn's.

"That son of a bitch." Burt was out of his chair and out the door in a second. Finn guessed he'd gone to find the doctor.

Finn stayed, trying to comfort his mom. She really liked Kurt. They all did.

Burt came back soon, falling down on the chair and softly grasping Kurt's small hand.

As the night wore on, Finn wasn't sure if he was the one comforting his mom or if she was the one comforting him.


	7. Letters

_Carole,_

_I'm sorry I never got to know you properly. You're a wonderful woman, and my father obviously loves you. I'm glad I brought the two of you together, he needs someone to spend his life with._

_I wish we could have bonded more, and then perhaps you and I could have been as close as Finn and my father have become._

_You could never replace my mother, but my father needs you around. I hope the two of you get married one day._

_There's really nothing more to say, except that I wish you a bright future._

_Faithfully,_

_Kurt_

* * *

_Dad,_

_I can't even begin to say how sorry I am for this. For everything._

_I'm sorry I've never been your ideal son. I know you're better off with Finn, and he loves you like a father. Carole loves you, too. You'll have a good life with them; a proper family._

_I love you, but I would only get in your way. You deserve a functioning family, a son that likes the same things you do. Someone you can bond with._

_Someone who can bring home a girl one day. Someone that can carry on the family name. And I could never be that son. We both always knew that._

_I imagine that my death might be... hurtful and confusing, but I've had plenty of time to think this over. And you will get over it. I'm not worth your tears, or your sorrow._

_The only request I have of you is that my body will be buried by my mother's side. If you can't do that, I understand, but that is my final wish._

_I hope you will live a long life with Carole and Finn, and that you'll be happy._

_Love,_

_Kurt_

* * *

_Mercedes,_

_You've been an amazing friend. I think that you'll be the one to take my death the hardest, which is why I'm writing you a personal letter instead of including you in the one for Glee. You've been a supporting pillar in my life since we met, and even though we have had our fair share of drama, I love you none the less. It's been amazing to have you to confide in, and to shop with you has been fabulous._

_But your friendship alone isn't enough to keep me alive, and in the long run; this is easier for everyone. I've been a burden to so many, Mercedes. No more._

_You've found a fantastic friend in Quinn, so I know you'll be fine without me._

_You made me a better person, and I hope you won't forget me._

_With love,_

_Kurt_

* * *

_Sam_

_I admit, I liked you when we first started dating. You were kind, considerate and perfectly gentlemanly, but obviously it was all too good to be true._

_I hate you. I can't help it. I know I deserved a lot of the things you said to me, and you opened my eyes to things I had blissfully ignored._

_I know I even deserved some of the physical abuse. However, you went too far when you would kick me, or throw me into a wall. And you went to far that night._

_And I'm too weak. I can't handle the abuse and the ridicule any longer. This is the only way for me to save myself from you. I know you won't miss me, you constantly remind me of that. It's possible you've always hated me._

_Still, I need to thank you. It pains me greatly to do so, but you showed me how pathetic I really am. How much of a nuisance I am to my dad, to everyone. You showed me how my life was just a big mistake that had to be corrected._

_And now I've corrected it._

_Kurt_

* * *

_Dearest members of Glee Club,_

_Mr. Schuester - You're a wonderful teacher, and a role model to many in the Glee Club. I'm glad you didn't become an accountant, because if you had; Glee would have ceased to exist. And I have loved being a part of it. Thank you for caring about your students._

_Tina - I didn't know you as good as I would have wanted to, but you've been a dear friend to me. You're such a strong person, even though you don't think so yourself. Believe in yourself more._

_Rachel - We never got along, but I've always thought that you have talent. With your attitude, you step on a lot of toes and you have a tendency to say hurtful things, yet that will help you with your goal to hit Broadway. However, make sure you don't lose your friends._

_Brittany - You're such a sweet person, and I'm so happy I got to be your friend. Going out for fat-free frozen yoghurt with you was something that brightened up my weeks greatly._

_Santana - You seem to keep everyone at a certain distance, so I'm grateful I was allowed to be your friend. You're such a powerful woman, and you've taught me a lot about self confidence._

_Quinn - I'm glad you and Mercedes became friends, and I'm glad I got to be your friend. I just wish I could have gotten to know you better. You're one of the strongest people I knew._

_Puck - We never got along either. Frankly, I never trusted or liked you. However, I do appreciate that you ceased throwing me into the dumpster._

_Mike - Go for Julliard. I know you can do it._

_Matt - Speak more. Your voice is amazing, sing a solo._

_Artie - You've been a great friend, a welcome change from the female crowd. You're exceedingly talented, especially at movie making and singing._

_I wish you all the best, and I know you'll win Nationals this year._

_Faithfully,_

_Kurt_


	8. Chapter Six: Days Of Silence

They took turns sitting by Kurt's side, speaking to him in hushed tones hoping that he would wake. The one, or ones not there ate, slept and showered. The fell into a routine, Kurt wasn't left alone even for a minute.

Almost a whole week passed in the same fashion.

He knew Kurt never believed in god, yet Finn still spent a few minutes every day in the hospital chapel, not praying, but simply hoping.

He also went to school on Wednesday. He couldn't face his friends, couldn't tell them what had happened. But Principal Figgins had to be told, so he and his mom had gone there during second period, and told him, Mr. Schuester and coach Sylvester about the situation.

It was terrifying to see coach Sylvester worried.

Finn was the one sitting by Kurt's side when it happened. It was around 2 AM on Saturday morning, Carole had gone home to sleep for a while and Burt had been forced to the cafeteria by a worried nurse.

Finn himself was seated in the chair closest to Kurt's head, just looking at him. And then it happened.

Kurt stirred. His head moved to the side, and his eyelids fluttered.

"Kurt?" Finn found his voice pleading. After so long, the doctors had started to look grim. He had overheard two nurses saying that Kurt probably wouldn't wake up again.

Now he was opening his eyes.

It wasn't the heartwarming scenario Finn had dreamed up, where Kurt was happy to be okay and Finn hugging him. Rather, once Kurt realised where he was, something seemed to snap.

"N-No! You had no right-!" Kurt had lurched off into some kind of fit, tearing off the oxygen mask and the IV hose, along with the other things attached to his skin. The monitor beeped as the reading device was yanked off his finger, and then a group of nurses was there, forcing the oxygen mask on again as Finn was pushed to the side, speechless.

And worried. It seemed Kurt couldn't breath on his own, he was gasping for breath and struggling against the hands holding him.

Finally, Kurt's form grew still again; but only after a nurse sedated him. One of them patted Finn's arm.

"I suggest you stay by his side. At least he's out of the coma."

Finn just nodded stiffly. When the room was empty again he slouched down on the chair.

He had thought that when Kurt woke, he'd be happy. Obviously, he wasn't.

He had a feeling it would be a long time before things were okay again.

When Burt and Carole came back later, Finn told them what had happened. They were just as thrilled as he was when they found out that Kurt was out of the coma, and equally worried about his reaction to waking up.

And they all hoped that the second time he woke would be better.

Finn wasn't in the room when the sedatives wore off early morning; he was up in the cafeteria trying to drown himself in coffee. Burt was the one in the room.

And from what Finn heard when he came back, Kurt was ignoring him. Not just Burt; but pretty much everything. Nurses, doctors... everything. When he entered the room, he expected Kurt to at least look at him.

But Kurt didn't. He had his arms folded in his lap, half-sitting, half-lying on the slightly raised bed. He was staring out the window, a tense expression on his face.

"Kurt?" It was barely a whisper, but Kurt should have heard him. Finn sat down beside Burt; and no change. Kurt didn't acknowledge them at all.

Two days passed like this. Kurt continued to ignore them no matter what they said.

The first time he talked again was on the third Day Of Silence, as Finn called them. He was on his way back from the cafeteria when he saw a guy enter the room, and Finn paused outside to listen.

"Kurt, right? I envisioned you blonde, like those Hummel figurines. Do you remember my voice? We talked a couple of months ago when you called Trevor Project. You were nervous about coming out to your dad."

Things were quiet for a while. And then, "Mark?"

His voice was rough, but it was _Kurt's voice_.

He could almost hear the grin in the guy's voice. "Yeah. You seemed pretty happy about life, at the time. Something obviously changed that. The doctor told me you've been abused. Is that it?"

A pause again. "Mostly."

"And now you're wondering why your survived? Why you couldn't be allowed to die like you want to?"

He could hear a scarping of a chair, probably Burt getting up to threaten the guy. Frankly, Finn wanted to throw the door open and yell at him. Who was this guy to come talk to Kurt like that?

"Yes." It was a small whisper, yet unmistakable.

"I know. I felt the same way when I woke up. You should be happy though. You have a family that obviously care; I hear that they've been here since you got admitted. What happened to drag you down like this?"

"My boyfriend, Sam. He... started getting violent, and the things he said to me..." he broke off, and Finn could hear Kurt emit a small whimper.

"Why did you let him hurt you?" It was simple and frank, and Finn doubted Kurt would give Mark an answer.

But he did. "I deserved it. Then it got worse, and I was afraid to do anything. He just punished me harder if I tried. A-And he made me realise that I was just a burden, especially to- to my dad."

"Kurt! Whatever that asshole told you, you're my son! My only son. You're the only thing that matter to me." Burt sounded panicked.

"You don't have to say that, dad. It was easy to see, especially after Sam told me. You didn't want to spend time with me, dinner and activities were never mine to decide, and you never asked how my day was. It's fine, I know my place." and Kurt sounded sad. So incredibly sad, and accepting.

It was horrible to hear him speak like that. Burt obviously thought so too. "Now listen to me. I love you. I never meant to have you feel like you didn't fit in with us!"

A minute passed. "You forgot my birthday, dad."

"I know, and I am so, so sorry. I though you said you wasn't upset about that."

"Of course I was upset! I needed you then more than ever!" Kurt actually seemed... angry. He sounded dangerously close to tears, and Finn felt awful about it. He was glad he couldn't see his face right now. They had all pushed him aside, without ever wanting it.

"Kurt, I don't know what to say to make it up to you. I knew it, we should have stayed at home with you." Burt sounded truly apologetic.

"I couldn't let you see me like that!"

Burt was Kurt's dad. It was kind of vain of him not to want him to take care of him when he was sick. Finn felt more than a little confused.

"I'm sure your dad has seen you sick before, Kurt."

"I wasn't sick!" A choked sob penetrated his voice. "I was hurt! If you had just taken closer look at me, you would've noticed that! I almost wished you had just pulled at my covers and seen the bruises, the blood." He broke of into another sob, and Finn actually thought he would have preferred the cold silence from earlier over this.

There was a shocked pause, and Finn peeked in through the door's window. He wished he hadn't. Kurt looked heartbroken and so small as he brought his arms close, almost folding in on himself. The guy on his bed placed a hand on his leg.

"Sam's fault?"

Kurt's reaction was unmistakable. He looked so _pained_ that Finn couldn't breathe. Burt made a strange, choked sound beside him.

"He- He raped me." It was low, but they could all hear it. And it was like being hit in the stomach with a sledgehammer.

"Oh god, _Kurt. _T-that can't... _When_?" Burt looked...What was the word Kurt liked? Livid. Finn couldn't believe his ears. Couldn't believe that Kurt had been assaulted.

"T-the night to my birthday. I-I felt so violated, and oh god, the pain... I-I needed you, dad. And you weren't there."

Burt didn't reply. Finn doubted he even could, if he felt anything like he himself was feeling. To be exposed to _that_ on your birthday... By someone you cared for... it wasn't all that strange that Kurt had given up on life.

No. Instead of talking, Burt got up and wrapped his arms around his son. And then the door was opening and Finn was forced to take a step back to let the guy, Mark, out.

"I think we should leave them alone. He needs his dad more than us at the moment."

Finn couldn't help but to agree, so he stayed in a chair outside the room.

It didn't take long for Burt to come out, looking worn and sad. Apparently Kurt had fallen asleep, the emotional strain probably too hard on him, Burt thought. And he was going to talk to the police, so Finn was left alone to hope that this was Kurt's turning point, his first step to getting better.

God knew they all needed him to smile again.


	9. Chapter Seven: Falsely Known

For hours, he and his dad talked. About all his insecurities, all the things Sam had done to him... All those things that had been weighting him down.

It wasn't like everything miraculously got better again, but it certainly helped to know that all those things Sam had said wasn't true.

And some small part of him was actually starting to regret trying to kill himself. He still thought it would be easier to end it all, but he had been egoistic to try and do so. His dad actually needed him; he was wanted. He had been selfish in his decision, and he needed help. He could accept that much.

"We're going to be fine Kurt. You'll see. You'll be allowed to go home, and then we're going to make sure you get better." His dad's hand was warm and comforting on his shoulder, and he felt a wave of gratitude.

He wasn't hated, alone, or left out. Sure, he was still depressed and would rather throw himself off the roof if he could, but he had a family. Who really hadn't meant to shut him out.

"I love you, dad."

"Love you too, son. Get some sleep now."

And he did. His body ached, and sleep was welcome.

-ooo-

When he woke up again, Carole was in the room, talking in a hushed voice to a policewoman. They both looked grim.

"Oh, Kurt. You're awake." Carole's smile was relaxing, but there was a definite tension in the room.

"What's going on?"

The policewoman smiled curtly at him. "Hi Kurt, I'm officer Morris. I'd imagine you want to forget all about this, but I need to speak to you about Sam White."

His face must have betrayed his dislike, because her expression turned sympathetic. "We have him in custody right now. He has already admitted to physical abuse, but I need to hear a statement from you, and I'm afraid I have to do a physical exam."

That didn't seem like too much to ask for. "Okay."

"Good. And there's something else you need to know. A lot of things have surfaced about White during the investigation. His real name is Eric Odel. He's wanted in the state of California for abuse, rape, attempted murder and robbery. You're not the first one to suffer because of him."

He was dimly aware of Carole collapsing on his bed, hugging him tightly. He didn't actually realise that he was crying until officer Morris offered him a napkin.

He had willingly kissed someone who was more monster than man. Had _dated _him. And Kurt hadn't even known his real _name_. Everything must have been a game for Sam, or a plot. Maybe he had planned for Kurt to break down. Well, he had certainly succeeded.

It took quite some time before he reacted to the comforting touches and words. The main relief was probably that the case wouldn't go to trial. Sam - Eric - would be facing at least 30 years of prison, even without the account of what he did under the name Sam White.

And most of all, Kurt would never have to see him again. Fighting the depression would certainly be easier without him.

The physical exam was absolutely humiliating, but officer Morris was kind and considerate. And it was important that she got pictures and answers. Kurt simply steeled himself and suffered through it.

Two days passed in a similar pattern. A psychologist came and talked to him an hour each day, and officer Morris came by and offered him news about the investigation. His dad was there, talking to him. Carole fussed over him and Finn... His dad said that Finn was there when Kurt slept, but Kurt hadn't actually seen him since he started talking again.

Well, he slept an unusual number of hours, so perhaps it wasn't all that odd. It was because of the lingering effects of the Oxycodone, the doctors said. And a side effect of the antidepressants they gave him was drowsiness, so it wasn't strange for him to feel constantly tired.

Sometime on the third day, Finn was sitting by his side when he woke up from a fitful slumber. Kurt couldn't help but to feel a nervous flutter in his chest. His dad had read his letter. So had Carole. Finn had probably read his.

"You feeling okay?" Finn's kind, lopsided smile managed to melt him just like it always did, and he found it somewhat hard to speak.

"I'm okay. You look tired." And Finn did look tired. He looked exhausted.

"Haven't been able to sleep properly with you here. I've been really worried."

Well that certainly made him feel guilty. "I'm sorry."

Finn's hand reached for his, large, safe and warm. "Don't be." And then his expression grew softer still. Like he was about to say something very private. "I read your letter."

Oh no. He could feel himself paling. "T-that- You weren't supposed to read that unless I died."

"But I'm glad I did. I've been a total jerk to you. I haven't even been honest with myself 'cause I've been so worried about my stupid reputation." And then suddenly Finn was in his personal space, leaning in and brushing dry lips against his. It was chaste and simple, but the small gesture heated his cheeks and made him shiver.

"I kinda like you too, Kurt. I should've told you when I realised, and maybe you could've avoided this whole Sam thing... but at least I can try to make up for it."

He couldn't believe this. Finn Hudson kissed him. Claimed that he liked him. There was no profession of undying love, but _like_ was so much more than Kurt had ever imagined Finn saying.

Finn was smiling almost shyly at him, and to Kurt's dismay he could feel himself blushing. "A-are you sure?"

Finn grinned. "Yeah. And when you get out of here, we'll go on a date. If you want to. Somewhere that's not Lima. Like, there's a theatre in Columbus, right? We could go there."

"I'd... I'd love to. But to be honest, I'm surprised you're not freaking out about this. Especially after that... argument down in my room before." And he was. Finn had acted almost homophobic at times, and had made it quite clear that he wasn't interested in guys.

"I'm really sorry about that. I was stressed and annoyed about everything, and I shouldn't have taken it out on you. I just... freaked. And I've had enough time to freak out while you were in a coma. I mean, I'm not gay. I still like girls, but I'm okay with being bi. I'm really okay with being into you. With you. If...If that's good with you."

"I'm good with that." His own voice sounded somewhat breathless, but that might be because of Finn's hand touching the side of his face.

"Good. Oh, and I'm gonna do my best to make sure you love life again." And then Finn's lips were on his again, firmer this time. Kurt couldn't help but to grip at Finn's shirt, softly. He felt like he was falling, spinning out of control. It wasn't necessarily a bad feeling.

"Oh."

Both Kurt and Finn jumped at Burt's startled voice. "Dad!"

"I'll... be out in the corridor. Finn, you should go home and get some sleep."

He blinked, confused. He had at least expected his dad to be shocked, or annoyed. He looked at Finn.

"I kinda talked to him earlier, got his permission to ask you out."

Kurt couldn't help it; the mere idea of Finn asking his dad for permission to date him was so surreal, so much like something from the Twilight Zone. He let his head fall back, and he let out a peal of laughter. Finn looked startled, and Burt peeked back inside. He didn't care.

It felt amazing to laugh again.


	10. Chapter Eight: Let The Bomb Explode

He wasn't exactly sure how it happened, but apparently Mr Schuester had broken down and told the Glee Club that Kurt was in the hospital.

And the group had gotten the rest of their questions as to why he was hospitalized answered by the nurse whom they had to argue with in order to be let in as a group.

Which was how Kurt found himself crowded by an incredibly upset Glee Club.

Mercedes collapsed against him in a very teary hug with and exclamation of "Oh baby! Are you okay?" While Brittany and Quinn sat down on his bed, the others in the group looking different levels of awkward and worried.

"You gave us a real scare, Kurt." Quinn murmured, looking at him sadly.

"You're like the strongest dude we know. Why'd you do it?" Matt asked. _Matt_. They guy never spoke. And even Puck was looking worried, which was horribly surreal.

He took a second look at them all. Everyone... actually seemed to care. The annoyance of them being there was washed away by wave of gratitude. And regret. To think that he'd almost thrown away this. His friends.

"The main reason has already been put behind bars. I just... got tired of pretending everything was okay. I thought," _I think,_ really, but he couldn't say that. "I thought it would be easier on everyone if I wasn't around. I'm sorry for worrying you."

"Behind bars?" Mr Schuester look pale and worried, a look highly unflattering to his complexion.

"Sam. He's been... less than the perfect boyfriend. I'd rather not talk about it right now."

Worried whisperings and exclamations shot through the group.

Artie wheeled over, and Mercedes sat up, staring at him. "He didn't hurt you, did you?"

"Psychological bullying isn't enough to send someone to prison, Mercedes. Just... please, can we not talk about this right now?"

It wasn't Mercedes that argued, but Artie. "Kurt, you can't just... drop the bomb like that and not let it explode. We're all worried about you. Especially after that statement."

It seemed that Finn had been quite right. Finn had taken it up on himself to tell Kurt how much everyone liked him, cared for him, and honestly wanted him around. He didn't really believe it quite yet, but the club standing around him was pushing him in the positive direction. _They all cared about him_. And it actually looked like it. The emotions displayed looked real, even Rachel's. He took a deep breath and fidgeted with the hose to the nasal cannula.

"Sam..." He broke of with a hollow laugh that seemed to startle them all. "His name wasn't even Sam. It was Eric. And he was wanted in California for... horrid things. Attempted murder, assault, robbery, abuse, rape... I wasn't his first victim. He'll rot in prison from now on, though."

A shocked silence fell over the room, and stayed for over a minute before Tina choked out a most uncharacteristic "Holy shit." and Mike collapsed on the bed, looking like he was going to either throw up or pass out.

"H-he seemed so normal."

"Some people are good at pretending." Mike looked even worse at that. It wasn't too strange. Sam had been on the football team, the jocks had all accepted him. Including Mike and Matt.

"He didn't do any of that to you did he?" This time, it was Rachel.

"Do you really think I'd be here if he hadn't?" Kurt felt bitter, and the strained, tiny smile - the last part of the facade he had tried to set up in front of the group - slid of his face.

"He broke you."

Kurt, along with quite a few others in the group looked at Brittany with surprise. He hadn't expected her to be the person to notice it. He felt a rush of respect for her. Respect and gratefulness. Because if it was her, 'Boo' who had never questioned him, helped him with videos and asked him to do her hair, he could actually be completely honest. "Yes."

Silence fell over the room again after his answer. He hesitated. "This is why I didn't want to talk about this right now. It was bad enough for you all to know that I tried to commit suicide. You didn't need to know this."

No one really had time to react to his statement, since a nurse picked that moment to enter the room. "Kurt, your toxicology screen shows that there's still toxins in your system. I'm afraid you have to sit through another dialysis.

He simply shrugged and allowed her to hook up him up to the machine, while he watched the worried expressions on his friends faces. The circulating blood seemed to almost frighten them.

When the nurse was done, she turned and looked at his visitors before she bustled out the door. "You can stay for ten more minutes, and then he needs rest." And for that he was thankful. The dialysis was boring, and rather unsettling. He'd rather sleep through it than to watch blood leave his body, pass through the machine and then enter him again. It was really quite disturbing. Even more disturbing with the whole Glee Club staring him down.

"Does it hurt?" Santana looked mildly curious, an expression he welcomed. It was better than pity and worry.

"Not really. It's just a little disturbing."

Mr. Schuester looked like he was about to say something. Judging by how silent he had been, Kurt was starting to worry that it might be one of his famous "life altering" pep talks. Thankfully, Finn chose that moment to appear through the door with a fresh bouquet of flowers and a Vogue magazine.

"I though I heard voices." Finn's grin and smiling eyes was another welcome expression. There were murmured greetings from everyone, and Finn perched himself on the bed, sitting snugly beside Kurt. Not even Mercedes had dared to sit that close. "Got you a new Vogue."

Kurt simply accepted the magazine, brushing his hand against Finn's for a while longer than he actually had to. "Thank you."

When Finn wrapped an arm around his shoulders, Mercedes gave him an odd, suspicious look at the same time as Quinn cleared her throat. "Maybe we should go. You need rest, right?"

"Yes, sorry. Thank you for visiting. It really means a lot." That seemed to be enough to break the frowns on most of them, some actually smiling at him and Finn before filing out of the room after various promises of revisits.

As soon as the rest of Glee club was gone, Finn bent and pressed an awkward kiss against his forehead. "Dialysis again, huh? I guess you'd prefer to sleep."

"Y-yes." He felt awful for it, because Finn had just gotten there. It didn't seem fair for him to just pass out for another hour.

"Don't apologise. I'll be here when you wake up." And with that, Finn moved closer, allowing Kurt to rest his head against him.

He fell asleep to the calming rhythm of Finn's heart. 

* * *

So sorry for the delay of this chapter! I've been quite busy irl.


	11. Chapter Nine: Alive

He had been stuck in the hospital for roughly three weeks before the doctors deemed him stable enough to go home. He would have to stay at home for another week, to adjust to the anti-depressants properly and as to not overexert himself. He had extensive mental trauma and a broken rib, after all.

And he didn't really mind being allowed to skip school for another week. He'd have to catch up in all his classes, something which was much easier to do from home. Not being forced to keep his facades up was a definite plus, too.

Especially since his therapist had ordered him to try and actually show what he was feeling around his family and friends. If he was depressed, he shouldn't smile and pretend everything was okay.

And it wasn't as easy as she made it sound. After all, depression was really the only thing he felt at the moment. Finn could manage to startle a small laugh or a smile out of him, but they never lasted longer than a few seconds.

"Hey sport. Do you want to watch one of your musicals?" Kurt looked up from his book, looking at his dad who stood awkwardly in the archway to the living room.

"Yes but... are you sure? Isn't there a game or something tonight?" He asked, confused. His dad had changed since he got back from the hospital. He was more mindful of asking Kurt how he was, what he wanted to eat, to do. It was appreciated, but odd.

"Nothing I can't miss. So how about it? Sound of Music? Your mother liked that one."

Kurt was touched that his dad would offer. Honestly. "T-that sounds wonderful."

It was wonderful to sit beside his father in the sofa, curled up against his side. They talked more now, he and his dad.

"I'm so glad you're still alive Kurt. That we all get a second chance at making things right." His dad's voice was thick, and Kurt looked away from the screen towards him.

"I'm... glad to be alive too, dad." It wasn't a complete lie. Every day he woke up just a little bit more positive, with Finn there beside him. The taller teen had taken to sleeping by his side every since they got back, and Kurt certainly didn't complain.

"Good. And everything's going to be okay again, you know."

Kurt didn't answer that, he simply moved closer to his dad, thankful that he believed in him.

They must have fallen asleep at some point, because when Kurt woke it was dark in the room, but his dad was still there, an arm wrapped around him, snoring lightly.

Kurt just laid his head on his shoulder again and went back to sleep. And for once, he wasn't haunted by nightmares.

So considering everything, he guessed he was doing pretty okay.

He supposed his mood and outlook on life would get better once he had adjusted to the medication. Apparently one side effect was that you got slightly worse before they started helping. Therapy was already doing a great deal, after all.

Plus, if Finn and the rest of his family was there; everything seemed a little bit easier to deal with.

And during dinner when all four of them were gathered around the dining table, and Finn would take his hand under the table and interlace their fingers...

Kurt couldn't help but smile.

So yes, perhaps it was good to be alive.

* * *

_The next chapter, the epilogue, will be the last in this story. Thank you all for your reviews! 3_


	12. Epilogue

At first, he thought that it was the light that had roused him from sleep earlier than usual. He wasn't exactly sure why, though, because it had never bothered him before. So why was he awake?

The answer was given by a slightly chapped pair of lips connecting with his cheek. "Morning."

"Finn?" And before he could elaborate, he was turned around to lay on his back, Finn beaming a lopsided grin down at him.

Apparently _something_ was going on, because Finn's grin widened and he spotted his dad and Carole by the foot of his bed when Finn urged him into a sitting position. His dad held a tray of breakfast, and Kurt spotted his favorite fruit-salad on it, amongst other things. There seemed to be enough things for them all to dine right then and there in his bed.

"It's been a year since you failed to kill yourself, Kurt." Finn exclaimed, with a bluntness that made Burt flinch and Kurt blink. "So we're celebrating that you're alive."

"And happy." Carole added with a fond smile, sitting down on the bed and patting one of his legs. His dad soon joined her, placing the tray in the middle of the bed as soon as Kurt had scooted over.

"Uhm... Thank you." He still felt slightly dazed by it. He hadn't given the date any thoughts at all. Celebrating the anniversary of his suicide attempt seemed a little strange, but yet... It was very sweet of his family to do this for him.

Finn snickered and leaned in for a proper kiss before he went for the tray of food, wrapping his free arm around Kurt's waist and tugging him closer. Meanwhile, Kurt was reaching out for the salad and falling into deep thought.

It was true what Carole had said. He _was _happy. He still had nightmares about _him_, but they were getting scarcer and scarcer. He was closer to his father than he could ever remember being, he and Carole were getting on. Almost like mother and son, even though he wasn't ready to admit it just quite yet.

And he and Finn were still together. It hadn't been a pity thing, Finn had made that quite clear.

Why, just last week Finn had casually mentioned what kind of house he'd like for them to have when they moved out and got married. Kurt remembered choking on air when he heard it, making Finn laugh.

So yes, he was happy. He could smile and laugh without forcing it, and the lasting depression was controlled by a tame dose of antidepressants.

A dose that was continuously being lowered, at that.

Kurt accepted the glass of orange juice - completely organic and freshly pressed - offered by his dad, and gave them all a bright, honest smile.

He was fine. 

* * *

_And with that, this story is at an end. Thank you all for your wonderful reviews, and thank you for reading! 3 _


End file.
